Monday, 2 January 2012

Happy Birthday James

1993 (grade 2) James got hit by a car... he still has a scar on his back from it

1994  (our grade 3/4 split) I had 7 Chronicles of Narnia books on my desk and wouldn't lend James one book. Probably just because I didn't like his face.

2004 Natalie Clark threw a Halloween bash in the Cardel Conference Centre..James dressed as rick james: painted himself black, wore tight leather pants and platform shoes and went around the party slapping everyone.

2006 My best friend Mat committed suicide while I was in Europe. When I came home my heart was so lonely and I was mean to everyone. James stepped up to the plate. He called me EVERYDAY to chat or go for lunch or see a film. I thought he liked me and was rude to him a lot. But the little bugger was rude and mean too so we ended up hanging out all the time.

2007 We moved to Waterton together to work. James got drunk every night so I woke him up every morning so he wouldn't be late for work. The parties were totally white trash. 

One night my boyfriend was so mad at me he left me at the bar. I cried so james walked me home from the bar...I tried to hook up with him, he turned me down and that's when I knew he was a homo.

2008 Sick of Waterton, we moved to Mckenzie in a big house. We ate so much pizza we had a massive pizza box bonfire in our backyard. We used to fry burgers on the back step.

I worked at roadhouse so james would come in (by himself) and party while I was working. He would wear my sweater vests and dance on the bar.

We went on our first club crawl and james dressed like a tranny and we skinny dipped in Sundance Lake. My dad tries to call James out on checking me out...but James is gay, he didn't look.

We went to Edmonton for James's birthday.

2009 James moved back home and I moved to a condo down the street. We would go to the lake almost every day, get candy from 7-11 and have parties every weekend. This was our first year of house boating together on Natalie's Arc. James moved in with my brother and only ate bean salad...for the entire year, and lost like 50 or 60 lbs.

James came to Kicking Horse to stay in our hotel on the hill. He hates skiing and snowboarding. So he drank red wine, ate sushi and hung out in the hot tub. He still does this. 

James hosts the first White Trash BBQ in the summer.

We went to Republik with Markus for James's birthday. He chugged a blue ribbon and puked on the dance floor.

2010 James makes beergarita's and meets Graeme for the first time. We went to the Met on 8th and he puked on the dance floor. Graeme and I grabbed his hands and start running for the door. He puked on the bouncers feet and hi-fived some guy in line. We went to V bar, he puked on the dance floor there too, and then outside. Graeme offered for James to sleep on his couch. James asked if he can have a "friend" over....awkward. We heard weird sounds and then James busted through the door and crawled in bed. So we slept on the couch. The next morning we realized that James had peed all over Graemes work desk. After 5 years of James hating every boyfriend I've ever had, he told me he liked Graeme and I cried. 

I called James on his birthday but we were too hung over and broke to do anything.

2011 We mellowed out in every way. Lots of things are still the same: We still watch all the seasons of Arrested Development and Little Britain. We still attend each others family reunions. We go to the lake and to Waterton a lot. We have BBQ's on Sundays at our place and tea parties and luncheons at James's.

We go for our third annual house boating trip. James fell on the propeller, lost his voice and got heat stroke. Graeme asks me to marry him at sunset in the cove in front of all our friends. I ask James to be my Maid of Honour.

James was in Mexico for his birthday. On New Years Eve when he realized the beers were only 50 cents he bought everyone in the bar a beer. What a guy. 

2012 James comes over for a slice of cake. I also got him a kick-ass gift, but its still a secret until he opens it ;) 

Happy Birthday James Doney. You have been the bestest friend. <3

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