Thursday, 30 June 2016


Last month I focused on change.
Each year I have a mantra I repeat to myself all year.
For some reason my 2013 mantra kept echoing in my head.
Routine. Consistency. Sustainability.

June was a big month.
I've had a steady yoga practice for several years, so the accomplishment was not the number of days I practiced yoga.
It was the way I practiced yoga.

At the beginning of June, I became aware that my life had become well and truly derailed.

I realized that I wanted to change. I needed to change, but I didn't know how.
It's hard to find the courage to change and it's even harder to sustain changes.
Nonetheless, I decided the place to start was where I found myself most days anyway, on the mat.

In the past, I would dedicate my energy throughout every yoga class to someone I felt needed it. While I worked through the Asanas my brain would tap out and I would work through someone else's chakras and focus on spiritually healing them.

Each class this month, I made a concerted effort to only focus on myself, my chakras and my spiritual energy.  It was far more difficult than I imagined. 
I cried at different points of many yin classes. I just hoped that the instructor and my peers would think that spending five minutes in pigeon pose made me abnormally sweat...from my eyes.

As the month comes to a close I have proven myself right again.  
There is nothing that yoga and mediation cannot fix. 
The core of who I am has woken and shifted; and I can't wait for July.

Friday, 24 June 2016

Arbitrary Thoughts for the Thoughtless

Maybe becoming my friend is like the kiss of death.
The last time I saw DR was in the hot sticky summer of 2014 in a penthouse hotel suite on Bloor. 
The lads were running around the hotel like hoodlums till all hours.
I was nestled in between a thick white duvet and silky sheets.
From a deep sleep, I was rustled to semi consciousness by a tickle on my nose. 
The photos in my head were fuzzy and I thought I heard 'Natt, Natt I'm leaving. I want to say goodbye.'
My nose crinkled from the feathery touch of his finger, I muttered go away and rolled to one side.
The next time I heard from him... well he had went to sleep, he never woke up and died.
When I returned home in the summer of 2015, we made the long drive to see old Bill Robinson.
As we pulled up to the drive way Bill & his friend stood up and waved from  inside the enclosed glass veranda. 
I thought, Bill's a busy man! His friend was probably scheduled in for a few hours before we arrived and is on his way out now. 
We walked into the veranda, greeted with warm hugs & donuts.
I was about to say, hey Bill, where is your friend? Instead, my gaze turned to look down the long hallway that led to the end of the house and I went for a meander.
As I drifted down the hall, turning my head from side to side into the rooms, I realized.
Bill was saying hello 
DR was saying goodbye

Here is a link to DR's blog: